I Contain Multitudes

“I contain multitudes” ~ Walt Whitman 1855

With the understanding that a persons past shapes their present, and our current actions affect the future, it has long been a belief of mine, that to forget or deny my history is to deny a part of myself. Speaking for myself only in this, I never resented my life before. And in fact the idea that other things might be equally as important - my career, explorations, travels, and relations - put a hold on my medical transition for over 10 years.

Why should I, sitting comfortable with my identity as a non transitioned trans man, bow to the whims or demands of a society that still only saw things in the binary? Why should I change my body, my physicality, for anyone other than myself?

Aside from the ridiculous wait times in the UK for gender affirming care, I also had to grapple with working abroad - travelling to places my identity may not be accepted or respected. Squeezing surgery in between back to back active seasons. Bringing my family with me on the journey, rather than turning away and leaving them behind.

But here and now I sit, and can happily proclaim - it is time!

On the 10th of October 2022, I had my first dose of Testosterone. Now marks almost 9 months since that day. My voice has dropped, my facial hair has grown (badly), the acne I tried so hard to get rid of as a teen has returned for round 2, and I am exceedingly happy.

In the past few weeks I’ve also been liaising with a private hospital for Top Surgery - which is currently booked in for April next year.

I am glad I waited. The support network around me is possibly the strongest I think I have ever had, and the security of being an adult who kind of mostly knows what’s going on some of the time is a blessing.

All this to say that every trans persons journey is different, and I hope that by sharing mine, you’ll be able to see a different perspective.

I am a skier, snowboarder, sailor, writer, explorer, and life enjoyer. I am also trans.

I contain multitudes.